The
day begins with a woozy shuffle down the hall to the kitchen, where I put water
in the kettle and turn it on. Place a filter in the one cup cone, coffee in the
filter, and the cone on a mug, and pour the boiled water over the coffee.
Now
we’re getting somewhere.
Mug
full of coffee in hand, I sit at the kitchen table and open my Book of Common
Prayer to page 137: “Open my lips, oh Lord, and my mouth shall proclaim your
praise.” (from Psalm 51)
It’s
not a bad way to start the day. Do I do it every day? Alas, no. I would be
awfully pious if I did, but I often wake up late and dash out the door or am
otherwise distracted. So not so pious. I would have made a lousy nun, and not
only for my lax rule of life. Obedience would have tripped me up.
Still,
I have started my day many mornings the last thirty-one years or so with that
routine, and I pray every day, quick prayers, what my friend Julie called arrow
prayers, firing them off in the moment.
The
morning prayer ritual has become a touchstone and a quiet place when the world
around me is noisy and chaotic, which is nearly always. I have a list I keep in
my Book of Common Prayer with the names of the people for whom I pray every day,
plus people for whom there are emergent needs. I pray for healing, peace, and
relief from pain; safe travel, grace, or whatever is asked.
I
give thanks.
Now,
I am aware that many of you think prayer is a lot of hooey. These days there is
a sharp knee-jerk reaction to the use of the expression “thoughts and prayers”
by insincere people who could do something about, for example, gun control, but
won’t. That’s the sort of hypocrisy that gives prayer a bad name.
If
you don’t trust people who are all talk and no walk, at least you know your
instincts are sound.
Does
prayer work? Yes, it does, but it’s not magic. God is not an online Amazon
catalogue. You pray with intention, but you do not know what will happen.
I
think this is one of the gripes some people have with faith: What’s the point
if faith and prayer don’t FIX everything? What kind of a God …? Etc.
If
the God you don’t believe exists has disappointed you because he should have
put an end to war, quietly deposed all the lunatic dictators and tyrants, fed
all the hungry, housed all the homeless, and put the Mariners in the World
Series, then you are right. That God does not exist.
God
is not magic. We cannot control everything with prayer.
It
is our job to make peace, depose the lunatics and tyrants and then not become
lunatics and tyrants ourselves, feed the hungry, and house the homeless. You
don’t have to be a Christian to do this work.
Working
on fixing the world often seems futile, but most of us keep getting up every
day and doing the best we can. Sometimes praying is all we can do. There was
that time I was in the car wreck and stuck in bed for a couple of months.
Miracles
do happen. Usually not the specific miracles you pray for. There have been
miracles in my life that I did not recognize until I looked back years later.
The
first time I drove off the ferry onto Vashon Island, as I passed the Episcopal
Church I had a sudden strong feeling of being At Home. A few minutes later, at
the main intersection, the friend I had come to visit introduced me to the
first person I met on Vashon Island: Rick Tuel. I did not know that day that I
would end up marrying Rick and living on Vashon Island the rest of my life.
Well, so far.
You
know, we’re always petitioning God for things, and sometimes God tells us things
with big red capital letters, or points toward things with flashing neon signs,
and we don’t see them. So maybe you could say we don’t answer God’s prayers. We
don’t have the understanding. And yet, sometimes, things come right.
At
the end of morning prayer comes the Collect: “… in all we do, direct us to the
fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”
The
hardest part of prayer for me: being quiet and listening for God’s purpose. You
must be careful. It is insane to get cocky about thinking you know God’s
purpose. I think it’s good to lead with kindness, though.
Blessings
on you, dear readers. We live in interesting times. May we encourage one
another. Amen.
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