It
is March 24, 2018 as I write, and all over our country and on Vashon Island
people have come out for the March for Our Lives, a protest asking that we have
sensible gun laws and regulations in our country, and that automatic weapons
and assault rifles not be sold, and that politicians and people in general snap
out of it and realize that the second amendment does not protect anyone’s right
to own those guns.
This
is important stuff, and there is a lot to be said about it, and a lot of people
are saying it. I’m going to go for something much lighter in this essay,
because, hey, we all need to inhale sometimes.
“Eats,
Shoots, and Leaves,” a book by Lynne Truss, surfaced on my bookshelf recently. Ms.
Truss describes herself as a “stickler,” and her book is about punctuation, and
how important punctuation is to the flow of the written word. When it’s
correct, you don’t notice it.
She
lives in the United Kingdom, and her usage in the book adheres to UK rules. That’s
why she uses quotation marks “thusly”.
In
the US we use quotation marks “this way.” Take as much time as you need to see
the difference.
There
are epic battles between writers and editors over this issue. It’s simple: in
the “States,” they go “here,” in the “UK”, they go “here”.
Shall
we move on?
The
humble apostrophe works hard, and Ms. Truss takes a lot of trouble to explain
its correct usage. It’s not the apostrophe’s fault that it is left out where it
ought to be and put in where it ought not. Perhaps you’ve heard of the guy who
goes around London at night painting over apostrophes that don’t belong in
signs?
Example:
Big sale on orange’s!
Argh.
You see these desecrations all the time. Sometimes they are done intentionally
to bring annoyed people into stores, where they are then persuaded to buy the
goods.
Commas:
there are rules for commas, but don’t try to enforce them. I learned while
editing that every writer has their own distinct Comma Code and will fight to
the death defending it. I decided that unless a comma or lack of comma changed
or confused the meaning of a sentence, I would let it stand. Choose your
battles.
When
I was a child, so long ago that when I looked it up online it wasn’t there, there
was a comma mishap with far reaching effects. Consider this story hearsay,
because no doubt I’m remembering it wrong.
Sometime
in the fifties or sixties, there were taxes imposed on imported fruits. Unfortunately,
in the legislation’s list of fruits, someone left out the comma between banana and
apple, and the legislation passed without a tax on bananas or apples, but with
a tax on the banana apple. Respect your commas, and your proofreaders.
I
learned a lot working as an editor, both of the Loop and of manuscripts.
Regular Loop writers were good writers. What I learned is that good writers are
much easier to edit than not so good writers, who tend to think their work is
holy writ. Psst: it’s not.
Also,
all writers are insecure and need to be encouraged. We are, and we do, okay?
One
thing I learned about while editing the Loop was the Steller’s Jay. Orca Annie
wrote of a Steller jay in one of her columns, and ignoramus that I was, I
changed it to stellar. Well, she got in touch and tore me a new one right
smartly. That’s when I learned that the Steller’s Jay is named for Georg
Wilhelm Steller (1709-1746), a German physician, botanist, and zoologist who
explored Alaska under the auspices of Russia and was the first European to
observe and record several species, some of whom were named for him, including
the Steller’s Jay. I don’t know what the indigenous people called them. Anyone?
I
also learned that the Steller’s Jay is a member of the family Corvidae. Yup, they are related to
crows, which explains a lot – their voices, and their intelligence, for
starters. They are not merely pretty faces.
The
internet, texting, and messaging have made nonsense of spelling, grammar, and
punctuation, and yet some sticklers are soldiering on. Granted, the spirit of
communication is more important than the letter of the law, but grammar and
punctuation are what allow us to read something without being jolted by some
clanger.
I
confess that since I stopped being an editor I’ve become something of a grammar
and punctuation barbarian. Sentence fragments! I use prepositions to end
sentences with! And I start sentences with “and” and “but!” I use exclamation
points much more than is necessary or correct! I am a wild woman! Up the
revolution!
Okay.
Break’s over. Back to saving the world.