Oh, the Stubbornness of Humans

 

Becky Bumgarner would like to say a big THANK YOU, from the bottom of her still-beating heart, to the EMTs who were on duty at the fire house in Vashon early on the morning of Monday, August 3rd. They totally rock, and they saved her life.

A little after six that morning I got a call from Becky. She said she had been kept awake by chest pains all night.

Now, Becky is the person who took me to the Fire Station when I had my TIA, and she said she felt much better when I got into the ambulance and headed to Swedish, so on August 3rd, when she asked me if I thought she should have her husband Roy take her up to the Fire Station to get her chest pains checked out, I said, yes, I would feel much better if she was in an ambulance and headed to Swedish.

So Roy took her up to the Fire Station, where the EMTs informed Becky she was having a heart attack. They wanted to airlift her but there was too much fog, so they whisked her off in an ambulance to Swedish Hospital at Cherry Hill, formerly Providence, where she was found to have a completely blocked left anterior descending artery, i.e., the big one that runs down the left side of the heart.

The docs put in two titanium stents.

When I talked to her later that morning, she was feeling much better.

Stents do that for people. Amazing what getting the proper amount of blood and oxygen distributed to your body can do.

Some of her heart muscle has been injured so she is not home free, but she is home, and she is recovering, and learning a whole new regimen of pills. We were talking about blood thinners the other day.

I am grateful she got in there and was saved, and so is her family, and so are her many friends.

Thanks, Vashon EMTs! Thanks, Swedish Cardiology!

When I spoke to her daughter Maggie, we expressed frustration that Becky did not get help as soon as she felt chest pains the previous Friday night.

She did call a medical advice line before she called me that Monday morning, and they told her to call 911.

“But I didn’t want to do that.”

Oh, the stubbornness of humans.

When Rick first became seriously ill, he wouldn’t go to the doctor.

"I'll work it off," he said, which is what he'd done all his life with every ache, pain, sprain, etc. Turns out you can't work off cancer or kidney failure.

I was angry about his refusal to take care of himself until he was nearly dead, and talking with other women, who said their husbands were just the same, I decided it was all men. Men! So stubborn!

And then ... I had my TIA. Transient Ischemic Attack, or a little stroke that resolved itself so was not a stroke. Woke up with a loud noise in my head, a weak left arm, and crap balance.

This happened at four or five in the morning, of course, so I called a nurse hotline and the nurse told me to call 911.

But I didn’t want to do that.

Part of the reason was that my grandson was living with me then, and he was asleep upstairs. I had to make some provision for him. Finally called Becky and asked her to take me to the ER. She came over, looked at me, and told me she would take me to the fire station.

I argued with her, but finally gave in. She took me to the fire station, where the EMTs put me in an ambulance and whisked me away to Swedish, Cherry Hill. Becky, god bless her, took care of my grandson, until she could hand him off to my son, Uncle Drew.

By the time I got to the hospital my symptoms were gone, but they kept me for a night for observation. That’s why I take a blood thinner.

So now I don't think stubbornness is a male trait. It's a human trait. I think most of us, maybe all of us, are pig headed, or simply don’t want to admit something serious is happening.

"I'll work it out."

"I'll just sit here with these stroke symptoms, and call Becky instead of calling 911."

"I'll put up with these chest pains all weekend and call Mary on Monday morning."

I'm off my high horse of being angry at Rick, or anyone, for being stubborn. It is humbling to realize that refusing to get help is exactly what I did when the time came.

The best things I learn in life involve being humbled.

Takeaway: When someone tells you to call 911, call 911. Even if you don’t want to do that.

The Seriousness of the Situation

Recently a cousin of mine wrote a post on Facebook expressing his concern that public health directives to wear face masks and observe social distancing would make him a sheep, blindly following the government’s orders.

He is worried about the tyranny of wearing face masks, but he is not worried that he is are already the willing sheep of a fascist government.

Trump claims he wants to “stop the insanity.” The insanity he wishes to stop is most of the American people demanding equality for black people, for indigenous people, for Latinx people, but mostly demanding that our police, who used to be called “peace officers,” stop killing people of color for no reason.

How dare we.

Protesters exercised their legal right to assemble peacefully. The police used their “crowd control” weapons, instigating violence where there was none.

Unfortunately, like the coronavirus, assholery is an equal opportunity employer, so we have had people going on violent rampages in Seattle, and elsewhere: Businesses attacked and vandalized, windows smashed, fires started, graffiti everywhere. This is the violence of which Trump accuses all protesters, labeling them, “domestic terrorists.” This is the “insanity” he wants to stop. The actions of a few are an invitation for him to send in his storm troopers. Not that he needed an invitation.

And oh yeah, some of those violent, destructive people? White supremacists, neo-Nazis, and QAnon geniuses, agitating for their “boogaloo,” using the protests as an opportunity to escalate violence among Americans.

The Homeland Security troops are thugs and goons. We have seen them in action in Portland, Oregon. Trump sends them only to cities whose mayors are Democrats. He is transparent about deploying his storm troopers as a political tactic to please his base, raise his polling numbers, and, he hopes, win the election in November.

His base loves seeing protesters getting beat up, shot, gassed, and otherwise injured.

Couple of weeks ago federal troops arrived in Seattle. The following day Seattle mayor Jenny Durkan held a press conference at which she said that she talked with Chad Wolf, the head of Homeland Security, the day before. He told her that he saw no need for sending federal troops to Seattle, and if they were sent, he would let Mayor Durkan know ahead of time.

The troops were in the air on their way to Seattle at the time of that phone call.

I hear that those troops have left now, after Mayor Durkan, Governor Inslee, and King County Executive Dow Constantine, the most visible of public leaders who objected to the troops’ presence, managed to convince whoever is in charge of their deployment that the troops were not wanted or needed here, and might escalate violence here as they have done in Oregon.

News reports are that Oregon Governor Kate Brown negotiated the departure of the federal troops from Portland. Portland has become a more peaceful place without them.

Supposing Trump loses the election in November. He has been open about saying that if he loses the election, he might refuse to leave the White House. Of course that is an extreme possibility. At least I hope it is. Trump is acting more and more like a cornered wounded animal.

Even if he loses the election, so much of the United States government is in ashes, so much of the Constitution has been trashed, so many fascist minions will be entrenched in government agencies and departments, and our population will still be divided almost in half. The Trump base will be mad as hell if he loses, and they have been emboldened these past four years to express their racism and act with violence.

They don’t mind fascism. They think it’s peachy, because the gestapo has not come for them or theirs yet.

If Trump wins, by hook or by crook (the latter, I’m thinking), our country will continue its downward plummet.

Even if he doesn’t win, so much of what used to be America is gone, and the rebuilding will take years, decades. That’s if enough people can keep their eyes on the prize and turn things around consistently for those years and those decades.

The United States was once the country that could call other countries to order. Now we have the fascist government so many of us have seen coming for years, and Americans are now judged the stupidest, and with the coronavirus out of control, literally the sickest people in the world.

I am sorry for our children, and our grandchildren, who will be inheritors of this sad, violent legacy.

My generation – yes, the infamous Boomers – had big ideas for the world, of making love not war, and giving peace a chance. We failed to do those things. We really did not grasp the seriousness of the situation.

Karens, Among Other Things

Recently those of us who use social media have been treated to an onslaught of videos of mostly middle-aged white women being ridiculously racist, and the name “Karen” has been applied to these women.

Now we have people who refuse to wear masks or do social distancing, people who insist that the Constitution states, “You ain’t the boss of me.” They are showing up in videos and the women are being called Karens as well.

A friend of mine whose name is Karen is feeling a little put out by all the Karen-shaming, and I do not blame her.

It’s too late, I know. This labeling racist or otherwise obnoxious white women in videos “Karen” has blown up and spread through our culture. Yesterday I found out there is an Instagram site called “crazykarens.” As soon as you say it’s a Karen story people know what you mean. This stinks for people named Karen.

It is better to use the offenders’ real names.

Early in July a white woman ran into an Asian family - mom, dad, and two daughters, plus their dog Fluffy, an 11-pound Maltipoo on a leash – hiking in the woods in Marin County, California.

The white woman blocked the trail and told the family that they were breaking the law by having their dog in the park (not true. Dogs on leash were legal). Then she told the family that they “couldn’t be in this country,” and they needed to “go back where they came from.”

The mother of the family told the white woman that she should check her own heritage and go back to wherever she came from.

If this Asian family went back where they came from that day, it was probably Mill Valley or San Rafael, at a guess.

The father of the family filmed the incident.

When white lady demanded to know the family’s name, he told her that was none of her business, then turned the tables and asked her what her name was.

By this time, her bandana had fallen, exposing her face, and she realized she was being filmed. She must have lost her presence of mind then because she walked away from the scene, muttering that her name was, “Beth.”

The father posted the video on YouTube, titling it, “Park Ranger Karen Tells Asian Family They're Breaking Laws & Don't Belong in America! (California)”

The video went viral. She was neither a Park Ranger nor a Karen. Beth was quickly identified – her name and where she worked. Within a couple of days her employers announced that after they reviewed the video, Beth turned in her resignation, and that they did not tolerate racism in any form.

I was sorry that the video title besmirched the name Karen, not to mention Park Rangers. Outing Beth’s real name led to real consequences for her.

Real names are better than Karen.

Then there was the video of a woman throwing boxes of shoes at a salesclerk. She was mad because it was store policy not to serve anyone who was not wearing a mask. This woman was so upset that she walked out leaving her wallet on the counter, making it easy for the police to round her up and charge her with assault.

Commenters on that video were unanimous in calling her a Karen and criticizing her actions. Some went farther and ridiculed her for being fat.

“Hey,” I thought, “wait a minute.”

Shoebox Woman was a violent jerk, yes, but it was her behavior, not her body shape, that was the issue. Come on, people. It’s racism and pigheadedness that we are fighting, not body shape or other physical attributes or lack of them.

Fat shaming is alive and well, a socially acceptable prejudice. More than once someone has dismissed me on sight because I am fat. Fat hating doctors are the worst. We fat women have plenty to say about those jerks, and I hope their ears are burning when we say it.

So. Those of us who are named Karen, or who are fat, are tired of the ridicule of Karens and fat people.

Real Karens, be patient. This trend will go the way of disco and elephant jokes.

Those of you who think you need to lose some weight and feel ashamed of your body? You know, some of us have lost and regained more than your entire body weight over a lifetime of trying to be “thin enough.” It is a fool’s game, and a big money-making business in America.

To quote Mr. Rogers, “I like you just the way you are.”

I did lose some weight without dieting this last fall and winter. My secret? I had cancer. Not a weight loss program I recommend.