Some
days I do despair.
Yesterday
a friend who has been on the front lines for peace and justice for a long time
and has a better perspective than I do, reached out and placed her hand on my
arm and said, “Take the long view.”
Take
the long view. Keep on doing something every day to make this a better world,
because there is always the feeling that the world is going to hell, and our
situation is hopeless. Keep going. Have faith that eventually good will
overcome evil.
Humans
certainly challenge that sentiment.
It
takes a long time to create change in attitudes and beliefs. Gradually,
eventually, things change, we hope, for the better. It is hard to see that when
it seems like we’re rolling downhill in an avalanche.
I
have seen more than one elderly black man lately saying, “We’ve come a long
way, but we have a long way to go.” There has been progress in civil rights,
which the racist segment of our population would like to see rolled back. I
believe that racists are as frightened and full of rage as the day Lincoln
issued the Emancipation Proclamation.
How
could they not be? They go to violent lengths to sustain their beliefs. I doubt
there’s a racist who would buy my theory that they are twisted, bitter, angry
human beings because they have put so much energy over generations into
convincing themselves and each other that their lies are true. That kind of
contortionism makes you sick.
I
was raised to be racist. There was no curriculum. It was the culture and the
family I lived in. It was in the air we breathed and the language we spoke and
the jokes we told.
In
high school, watching the television coverage of the civil rights movement, I found
racism ugly: Cops were beating people with clubs and blowing people down the
street with fire hoses. Sending attack dogs after people. Tear gassing peaceful
protesters. Shooting into crowds of college students, shooting activists in
their beds. I saw the contorted faces of white people screaming and taunting
and hitting black protesters, even children. I saw the bloody faces of
protesters who had been beaten. I saw the smoking remains of the church that
was bombed, killing four little girls.
If
you go to the website of the Southern Poverty Law Center, there is a page
listing what they call Civil Rights Martyrs. They are but a tiny fraction of
the people killed for being black or standing with black people.
While
this was going on, I was in high school on the coast of California. There was a
talent contest one week, and my entry was my pallid imitation of Mary Travers
singing, “The Cruel War.” As I waited my turn, two black girls got up to sing.
They
did a duet on a Motown song, and that gym full of white kids went wild. I was
so jealous. “It’s not fair,” I thought. “They have those black voices.”
They
did, and they were good. They sounded like the hit music that we loved.
I
was not aware until that day that there were any black students in my school.
What
was it like for them, going to a school that was about two-thirds white, and
one-third Hispanic? A large portion of our town’s population was Hispanic. Most
of those people originally had come to labor in the fields and orchards. They
were the underclass in that time and place. The descendants of the families who
stayed now make up a lot of the middle class in that town.
I
think of myself as a clueless liberal, but I also think racism is a cancer that
has been killing this country since before it was a country, and I think we are
under siege by fascism.
I
am unable to communicate with people who call me a libtard. Know what I mean?
There does not seem to be a common ground where we can meet each other as human
beings. Yet.
Still,
I write essays and I sing songs. I’m taking the long view.
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