Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Ladies Who Do More Than Lunch

Three mighty warriors gathered to go hunting. These were their names: She Who Argues; Makes Many Plans; and Straight Arrow, so called by the other two because she tended to drive the car straight through curves instead of around them.
They wanted to begin early in the morning, so they caught a ferry to Southworth a few minutes after noon and headed for the fabled hunting grounds of East Bremerton, where discarded belongings are put up for sale in the marketplaces known as Goodwill and Value Village.
Some things cannot be found in the used goods bazaars, however. One thing that must be bought new is underwear for mighty hunters, so the first stop the three made was at the market place known as Wally World.
She Who Argues overcame her many political, ethical, and moral objections to enter Wally World, which she knew was a notorious sink of corrupt consumerism, a den of vice as dangerous to the addicted shopper as an opium den is to the opium smoker, and as harmful to the general welfare of the people. She managed to quiet her misgivings because she realized that she, too, needed underwear.
Wally World is larger than many villages, and the trek from the parking lot to the underwear section was long and arduous. They lost their way and made wrong turns, but in the end found themselves among an array of bras, panties, and socks that was so large and so overwhelming that their senses were dulled and their thoughts confused. Such is the narcotizing effect of Wally World.
Once they had made their purchases and found their way back to the car it was decided that they all were hungry, and they decamped for a cafe located where the trail of Sedgewick meets the highway of Sixteen.
Now, She Who Argues was wearing that day a beautiful shawl of purples and blues, which she usually wore as a scarf, but once trapped in a booth with Makes Many Plans and Straight Arrow, who have a tendency to be rather silly, she found a need to pull the scarf up over her head to conceal her face. “You two behave like teenagers,” she said to her companions.
Once fed and watered, the three continued on their way. They went over the hills and around a great water, and soon were in the Wilderness of Strip Malls.
Here they came first to Goodwill. They split up so as to hunt more efficiently, and spent a good hour there before meeting again, and putting their bags into the trunk of the car. They pressed on to Value Village, and again split up, the better to seek their separate objects, and they each found many more treasures.
Then they were on their way home, well satisfied with the day's hunting and ready once more for island, home, and hearth.
They were early for the ferry at Southworth, and talked together as they waited on the dock.
Makes Many Plans, who grew up in the neighborhood of Madrona in Seattle, told the story of a time when she was a child. She had gone to see Santa Claus at Frederick and Nelson, and in her joy at the experience she told some of her friends, “Santa is everywhere!”
One of the little girls in the group begged to differ. “Santa is not everywhere,” she said in a superior tone. “Jesus is everywhere.”
“Well, Jesus isn't in the window at Frederick's,” Makes Many Plans replied.
Discussing theology can be so treacherous.
The boat came, and the three warriors returned home well satisfied. They agreed it had been a good day and a good hunt, and went their separate ways, promising to meet and hunt together again.